Chronic
Fatigue Syndrome, adrenal fatigue, Lyme’s Disease, Candida, blood sugar issues,
virus in the muscles, hormonal imbalance—no one seems to actually know why I
struggle with weakness and fatigue, but I’ll stick with Chronic Fatigue for now
because that was the latest diagnosis on a recent doctor’s order for lab tests
and because that’s the most understandable condition to explain to others.
My health issues started when I was
fourteen, almost exactly fourteen years ago, give or take a couple of months. It
has been a long, hard journey, and although I put the phrase “lessons I have
learned” in the title, I don’t think I have mastered every single one or even
totally mastered one lesson in its entirety. These are things I am still in the
process of learning and will hopefully continue to learn as I seek to follow my
Lord wherever he may lead.
If
you are struggling with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or other health issues, I hope
this post will be an encouragement to you!
1. God is Good no Matter What
This one was and is a toughy.
How could I praise and worship a God who
claims to be good, but who could take away my infirmities with a single word?
Why wouldn’t he heal me in my timing?
These and other questions have haunted me
on my journey, but God has proved over and over again that he truly is good.
His ultimate plan for me isn’t so that I can be healthy, wealthy, happy, live a
perfect life, and then die and go to heaven. No, his plan for me is far better
and bigger than that.
His first purpose for me is to glorify
himself because he alone is worthy of glory. I believe that after that, he
wants a real relationship with me and then he wants me to serve him and point
others to him. If my health, or anything else for that matter, is standing in
the way of any of these things, he has the right to allow it to be taken away.
As the Lord has patiently allowed my perception of him to
change, I’m okay with that fact that I may never have the energy a twenty-eight
year old woman should have. I can still say that he is good, and I can still
worship him. Praise God!
2. A Real Relationship with God is Worth
the Sacrifice
Having health issues along with some other
circumstances from my past have shown me that I viewed God as someone who owed
me a good life without troubles. In a sense, I thought he was good as long as
he gave good things to me. That wasn’t a real, or at the least, a good
relationship. No one wants to be loved for the good things they give or
contribute. They want to be loved for themselves. God is no different in this
respect. He died so that I could have life, and he wants to be loved for
himself, not for the good things he gives.
3. Priorities are Extremely Important
Having Chronic Fatigue limits a person, to
say the least.
I am unable to keep up with the lifestyles
that many of my peers have, and although frustrating, it causes me to make
priorities and to decide what things are important and what things I can let
go.
4. Comparing with Others is a Slippery
Slope to Self-Pity
Some
women seem to have boundless energy.
They can work forty-hour-a-week jobs, eat
organically, cook from scratch, exercise at 5:00am six days a week, raise four
kids, garden, read, be on twelve committees at church, make their own soap,
lead a Bible study, teach Sunday School, write a book in their free time, be “Wife
of the Year”, and well, you get the picture. No one can actually do all that,
but it is hard not to compare myself with other women and feel like I come up
short. Poor me.
But guess what? It’s not about me!
Whoohoo! It’s about Jesus and what he did on the cross. He’ll give me the
strength (maybe not the kind of strength I want, but strength nevertheless) to
do what he has called me to do.
5. It’s Okay to Be Misunderstood
“I get tired too. I think it’s the
weather.”
“Why can’t you do this?”
“You look healthy to me.”
“No offense, but thousands of women are
weak and tired.”
And the list goes on…
Those who struggle with health issues have
probably been misunderstood at least a few times, and it hurts. It really
hurts.
I
try to keep in mind that the people who say these things are just trying to
comment, help, relate, or they simply don’t understand what is going on and how
I actually feel at times. No one in my life has ever purposely tried to blame
me and misunderstand. They are well-intentioned.
But I have better news than that! Jesus understands
completely. He was grossly misunderstood when he was here on earth and he is
still being misunderstood by people everywhere and even by me! He understands
what I’m going through and he understands exactly how I feel. My husband is
also very understanding of my health issues, so that helps a lot too.
6. Contentment is Key
It is hard to accept feeling awful the
majority of the day as something that might not change, but I have learned
there is a delicate balance between accepting what God has given me in life,
and not giving up praying and searching for answers.
I guess is comes down to the fact that I
shouldn’t be angry or discontent with where God has me physically.
7. Giving Up is Not an Option
This
might seem opposite from the previous point, but I after mulling it over, I
think it actually goes together. I know I need to be content where the Lord has
me, but I also think that I need to continue to seek out answers, cures,
supplements, medications, and diets that could help.
Throughout the fourteen years of my
struggle, I have gone through multiple tests, seen at least five different
practitioners, tried various diets, taken supplements, health shakes, and
hormone replacements. My parents, and now my husband and I, have spent a
considerable amount of money over the years paying for all of the above.
It gets discouraging, but we have found
that some things help more than others, and I think it is wise to continue to
seek healing and answers.
8. Gratefulness Helps Change Perspective
I am grateful I don’t have pain.
I am grateful that I have times during the
day or week that I feel normal and have energy
I am grateful that I haven’t had Chronic
Fatigue Syndrome my entire life
I am grateful that I can function and
still be involved at church
I’m grateful that I don’t have to work a
forty-hour a week job at this point
I am grateful for adrenaline that carries
me through social events so that I can generally function well
I am grateful for caring and understanding
family and friends
I am grateful for a heavenly Father who
understands my weaknesses
9. People with “Cures” are Just Trying to
Help
Everyone has an opinion. Some are wise and
thought through, others are mindless ideas given off the cuff. Many
well-intentioned friends have given cures, diagnoses, and countless
suggestions, and again, while some of them are good, the sheer number of them
gets frustrating.
I’ve definitely tried several suggestions
from friends and family and have been moderately pleased with the results. I
haven’t tried them all, though, and that’s okay.
I’m trying to learn to remind myself that people suggest
cures and treatments because they care and because they are just trying to help
me feel good. They are not trying to
overwhelm or frustrate me.
10. The Lord Provides
As I mentioned in one of my earlier points,
my parents and now my husband and I, have spent a considerable amount of money
over the years, searching for answers. There a doctors’ bills, supplements,
hormone prescriptions, health shakes, labs, and healthful, organic food. None
of these things are cheap, but the Lord has always provided what I need, and he
has provided people and resources that show me how to get these services and
items at a much more affordable cost.
11. Life Shouldn’t Revolve around Chronic
Fatigue
When dealing with a health issue, it’s
hard to not let that be the focus of life. It’s hard not to talk about it too
much. However, life is so much bigger than my health issues. Jesus, my husband,
family, friends, ministry, and relationships are important things for me to
focus on as I go on living out the life Jesus has called me to live.
12. Health Issues can be a Platform to
Relate to or Encourage Others
There are several different people in my
life who possess similar health struggles and we’ve shared information back and
forth, tips, and recommendations that have helped us. I’m grateful for these
ladies and for their understanding, wisdom, and prayers.
I think the encouragement part of this
point is a new thought to me, so hopefully, I can be more intentional about
encouraging others through my past and current health struggles. Maybe this
blog post will be a start!
13. It’s Important to Know Limitations
Sometimes when I’m feeling good or when
I’m looking ahead and not thinking, I make too many commitments or I schedule
things too closely together because it seems doable. Then, when the time comes
to carry out the commitments, I’m overwhelmed. Part of the reason I feel
overwhelmed is my introverted personality which loves alone time and space, but
part of it is the Chronic Fatigue which can make everything twice as hard as it
normally would be.
I have to be careful what I plan and when
I plan it to avoid feeling overwhelmed or stressed. I have to not get upset at
myself for crashing after a busy weekend where I didn’t get enough sleep, and
to be okay that the house doesn’t get cleaned on Monday. (I’m not citing a real
experience or anything, mind you.)
14. My Husband is the Best Husband in the Whole Wide World!
Of course I’m biased, but my beloved is
such a support and comfort to me. He doesn’t put me down when I’m not able to
accomplish much or when I can’t keep up. He offers to help, and he does help
when I let him. (Ha! There’s the old pride again. Gotta do it all myself.)
He encourages me to rest when I need to
and he cheers me on when I exercise. He helps me establish priorities and say
“no”, but he does encourage me to do the things I can. By his example, he helps
me be less self-focused and lazy, but he never condemns me or puts me down.
I am extremely blessed.
